31th Aug 2009..Birthday ?

Today is my birthday? I don't feel it...really don't... why? I realize my Birthday each yr is a disaster.. Each Birthday i make the effort i stay at home..even friend ask me out i will also push it away.. because to me Birthday is a day need top spend with family.. but......somehow people don't think this way.... Today i took my birthday Off just want to spend the day with family but they don't appreciate it.. Before my birthday came.. i already said let go out for a lunch at some nice place or what.. At first they said ok with it.. But today... :'( nope.. none of them.... by the time i wake up.. all of them is... dad work, brother study...both of them i do not expect they will..so is fine with me..but my mum..she told me she eaten the lunch already..and having her hair treatment... WTH is this?

What the F for taking Birthday OFF today where everyone is out and i at home staring at computer to spend my fu*king Birthday alone at this F*cking home???? Family love? Bullshit... Craps to it... does not happen in here.. dame to it....

If i foresee such things happen i rather spend the time at Camp... at least i will be happier at there... Dame Dame Dame.............................

Since like that.. okk fine... Next week i will stay inside camp liao till next yr....... will only see them during wk end... but don't worry i will make the effort see their face as less as possible.........

Outfield till sian

This whole week tired sia... everyday outfield... Gedon outfield is not a kidding matter... super dusty and sandy........ i think the vehicle filter confirm gone case... Friday finally reached home.. but everything was so rush.. because Sunday need to book in..sian to max... i need to download all my drama etc, wash clothes, dry them and pack them.. Saturday went out with the Eagles... but did not really enjoy much.. too tired for anything...all i want is just resting.

Later on 6pm gonna leave my hus le.. because need to take train to CCK have dinner than Book in camp.. super sian lo.. the CSM want us book in with the combatant just want to count strength.. n he say by 9.45pm.. fuck sia.. by than i think i'm already slping le lo.. ka jiao.......... haiz.. just hope this week is a week that pass through smooth and fast... and no more outfield!!!

What a wk~~ What a Sunday..What a F up period

From Mon till wed all the while is really a shiok moment for me... but good things will always come with bad things..and my nightmare started on Thur... Thur my course started.. dame..the prog i saw is abit shocking... next Tue onward..outfield + outfield + outfield all the way!!! F*ck.. hectic to max lo.. Like that nvm.. Today (Sunday) we had AHM... we need to report at 6am at Esplanade!! oh shit....meaning i woke up at 4am and take taxi to there....

Is really bullshit man..they only giv us $400+ use also not enough liao..still want us take taxi to there... in such early hr where got public transport sia... dame it... like that nvm.. tml (Monday) those who ran AHM today no off!!!! Because we need to go back to camp as usual timing where by other people got off or leave!! Fu*k up lo..we ran like mad today..without give us proper resting..tml still ask us go back work.. WTH is this.. somemore i got outfield all the way.. holy hell.....

What really went wrong in my life? Is been so chaos~~Hw i can bare with it such long time? Anyway too tired to continue writing.. need to rest... Just hope that nothing screw up during my course.. *Praying hard*

After so long..

7/19/2009 is my last entires till now.. holy shit..is really a long period haha.. Busier and Busier. Why? All thanks to the higher up.. I've been having course + course + course.. back to back action without stoping.. really drench out my brain and my body... 好累哦~~ 好想有个人可以好好的让我靠一靠休息一下......这人几时才会出现呢?

Next week thur start i will be staying inside camp already... till when i not sure... from the schedule we had.. i think i will stay till i ORD... maybe to other people is not that bad...but to me is a bad moment... really feel like my Freedom is getting lesser and lesser... feeling been tied down...harder and harder.. I'm a person who don't like to be tied down so much..but this case.. i really can't do anything about it... really feeling helpless sometimes...

Yeah.. i know i getting more and more emo~~ but can't help...anything can bring me happier pls do so..pls dun ask me 看开点.. i've been trying hard to control my mind already... compare to others i can say my control of mind is very good already.. In my life so far i break down 2times... wondering will there be 3rd time?

BTW.. Just came back form GI. Joe movies.. god dame..is freaking cool... i think guys will like it but not the girls... even the story plot is not really there..but those action pack + weapon make the movie dame cool and good. If Saf had such weapon..i think we guys will not need to have NS liao..cos is really very inbared.. but weapons can safe life..at same time can kills.. if terroirst get such weapon..all of us will be died long times ago... where still got the time to love, shop, sex, etc ? Anyway overall this movie if you a action movie fan..can go for it.. you will enjoy it :)

Birthday soon will be here...but how will be be? Another year that is a boring one? or a exciting one? or ....a romantic 1? but... i guess high chances of a Boring one.... is been long long time since had a birthday celebration.....